Hey, cutie. Just wanted to let you know that this story originally ran in our May issue , so if you like what you see, you should probably snag a hard copy ASAP. The inconvenient boner coaxed by a buxom model on a pasta-sauce jar is a punch line in practically every coming-of-age movie. True to its name, the emotional boner is spurred by feelings, just not sexual ones. Matt, 30, says he got one when the subject of getting hitched came up with his then-new ish girlfriend. On the other end of the spectrum, an emo boner can pop up when a guy sees that his significant other is upset. Carlos, 25, got one when his partner was particularly heated while talking about stress at work. Even a whiff of sex at an inappropriate time makes some kind of sense. Like seeing you naked when you two are in the middle of a fight—yes, most men are just that visually oriented. But the explanation for sentimental boners is way murkier.
How do you disguise yours?
Getting the girl of your dreams in your bed? Failing to get an erection when you're ready to go? There's absolutely nothing worse. But before you freak out, know that lots of guys can have trouble getting hard when they want to have sex, and it doesn't necessarily signal that you have erectile dysfunction.
How subtle are your public erections?
Erections are a perfectly normal function of the male body , especially in guys who are going through puberty. An erection is a hardening of the penis that occurs when sponge-like tissue inside the penis fills up with blood. Usually, an erection causes the penis to enlarge and stand away from the body. Erections can go away on their own or after ejaculation, the release of semen through the urethra, the small hole at the tip of the penis. Sometimes guys ejaculate at night while sleeping these are called nocturnal emissions or wet dreams. Guys may have several erections and arousal periods while in the REM rapid eye movement stage of sleep, the type of sleep in which most dreams occur. Although many erections are caused by sexual arousal, such as watching a sexy television show or fantasizing, many erections seem to happen for no particular reason. So if you've had an erection in an odd or embarrassing situation — like right in the middle of a really boring history lesson — there's no reason to worry that something is wrong with you. Your body is just acting naturally for a guy your age.
I even looked down to check that he was actually erect. He was. He had a raging boner, but I had no idea about the whole morning wood thing yet. So I got wasted one night, determined to give head for the first time. But the guy I ended up in bed with had what I now know by comparison to be a giant penis. Twenty seconds into my attempt to deep throat, I vomited all over him. It was so traumatizing, I waited another year before trying again. I developed early, and I had urges, you know. Raging teenage hormones!